Not Done Yet!

ahhh. december 19th was supposed to be an independence day of sorts for me, but of course, life had other plans.

a couple of weeks before, i felt really violently ill after treatments. i was shivering so hard that the whole bed would shake. i couldn't get warm, my skin felt tight, and my entire body hurt.

after massive amounts of fun fun scans from my doctor, we found out that my body had started rejecting the treatment. my organs were enlarged, and if i chose to finish the treatment, i would most certainly end up in the ICU.

going into this, i told them that my number one goal was to avoid hospitals at all costs. they scare the bejeebus out of me. the only good things that happen in a hospital are:

1. they make jello. there is always good in jello. and gelatin, too.
2. babies are born. this is good because they are not mine.

so what we ended up doing was giving me a sabbatical of sorts from radiation. i'm currently off of treatments until january. i go back on january 2nd for more scans, and from there we'll decide my treatment schedule. and, instead of 2 full strength treatments, they're going to break it up into 4 half treatments, so it hopefully won't be such a shock to my system.

i'm not entirely sure how this is all working, and i'm not entirely sure i want to know. i really trust that my doctors are doing all that they can for me. it's nice to say, "hey, doctor dude, i don't want to end up in a hospital" and then 8 weeks later have them remember that for themselves and take it into account.